Create-A-Card Competition

5
6
Elijah
call unique kelar
Elijah counts as a dark elf
If you play a spell, remove a counter from Elijah: he gains 25 attack
"Do I look like the mother fucking guy from Police Academy? Am I giving you a mother fucking funky back beat? Then stop fucking rapping, white boy."
32/32
Cnt: 1

Gem Stone necklace makes him feel pretty.

5
7
Richard Barnhart
call unique paladin librarian
"Do you know what a Smitemancer is?"
35/60

5
:mana:8
Kenji
call unique annoying cleric
End Turn: If undizzy, gets +10/+10
(cannot attack)
"In enduring, grow strong."
45/45

5
6
Chalice
call unique (bipolar?) fairy
Cannot be dizzied
If target creature is dark, it is dizzied. If it is grey, it loses 25 attack until end of turn. If it's light, it gains 10 life.
"Um... can I hide on your shoulder? Strangers really make me nervous..."
15/38

3
5
Felix
call unique cat cat
(speed summon)
(quick hit)
"Teleporting unprepared like that can make a person forget about things."
20/20

1
2
Slib
call unique slime
Destroy self: Create token of self which gains half of Slib's total stats
"You're a smuggler dressed up as a cat who was smuggling little girls to the skeletons for food! Admit it!"
13/13

Hidden: If a monster with less life than Slib exists on the field, he's ability fails.

The token starts with stats equal to Slib's when the ability is used. If used on an empty field, it would become a 19/19, 28/28, 42/42, 63/63, 94/94, etc.

Any repetition in this post was intentional. It was a joke no one got.

Edit: Oh, you said "one". Ah well, I'm content with losing.