Create-A-Card Competition

Zero
Draining Victory
Cast Spell
(Required: Three entities of the target's same type together costing at least half of target entity)
All entities of target entity's card type that you control are destroyed along with target entity
"Well, at least he's dead"


Zero
SURPRISE!
Cast Spell
30 Life: The next monster played is undizzied upon playing


Zero
Blood Warp
Cast Spell
Destroy target monster, lose life equal to target monster's attack and life combined
"Is that a warp gate made of blood?"


Zero
Mana Evaporation
Cast Spell
You lose all your mana and have a 50% chance to lose life equal to your mana lost x2
All of your opponent's generators are obliterated and your opponent has a 10% chance to lose all of their mana and lose life equal to all mana lost as a result of this spell
"Where's the beefmana?"


Zero
Serious Consequences
Cast Spell
(Requires: At least 150 life)
Lose two-thirds of your life, all cards on the field, in both players' hands, and in the discard pile are all obliterated and both players discard five cards from their deck before drawing a new hand, neither player can lose due to discarding as a result of this spell (if it would cause them to draw from an empty deck, they do not discard any cards)
(Failure: Lose half your life)
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing"


Zero
Sympathy Swap
Cast Spell
(Requires: More life than your opponent)
You and your opponent swap life points
"ARE YOU FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF?"


10 points to whoever can guess where the last flavor text is from.
I'll give you a hint: "So are you Chinese or Japanese?"