Card Competition To My Delight

I tried my best on these. I'm guessing they meet up to all the requirements. I didn't give the dark one an activated ability, so technically it doesn't dizzy when using its ability. I wanted to make sure all text would fit on actual cards, too. I think it all does.

Normally I don't really do fantasy cards, but I found a few that I really liked. It was hard to work with the given criteria. I think Tamdrik's is the one best suited for flavor, and Nightwind's the least. Originally I wanted to do something with stat swapping (personality changes), but this is more fun and actually beneficial to the opponent (as required).

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Noodle
3
4
Call unique forumite shark
Draw phase/end turn: both players lose 20 life, opponent gains 2
"It's more like elbowing than punching"
45/32

Tamdrik
7
9
Call unique forumite vendor
Into play: discard a card, then draw a card
discard: Opponent loses 3 and draws a card
"Tamdrik is not a measure of balance"
30/90


*NightWind*
5
6
Call unique schizofrenic forumite
(Speed Summon)
3: Opponent gains life equal to Nightwind's attack, gain 50% stats
"Sometimes we post together"
30/30