interlude phase: iron fists

I think the bearded guy is actually an alien spy and is trying to steal all of Canyada's secret plot. And their schemes.
The general guy is a secret Space Marine cowboy planted there from the future by the future Canyadan government. Yeah, see, in the future when utopia is achieved, the governments of the world have nothing left to do but collectively contemplate their own bellybuttons. So, the Canyadan government decided to test that old myth that a billion gene-spliced monkeys typing on a billion holographic typewriters could eventually write Spearemint, but they didn't. Instead, the monkeys warned that aliens had secretly landed in Canyada to steal their secrets, but it was a Canyada of the past!
So the Canyadan government sent their super-soldier agent Mr. Honeybuns into the past to stop the aliens by observing the weapons test and exposing their operative. Dr. Ah wasn't actually supposed to be there, but Mr. Honeybuns sneezed - in the past! - and that sneeze altered the fabric of clocks in the Butterfingers Effect and made it so Dr. Ah showed up in one of the Titanic's missing lifeboats from the dark side of the moon where he was living in exile.
Now Dr. Ah is there and Mr. Honeybons has to send him back into exile while stopping the alien spy from getting away with Canyada's secret cracked pottery recipes.